Frank Bruni & Eddie Lin Gangbangin' for Your Food! Remember: "Free Range" Isn't Free.

Illustration by Ji Lee, photograph by Daniel Root

I know this sounds insane. Like crazy with a “k”. It’s a loco notion really, but is it possible that famed New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni and I are in the same gang?

We couldn't be more different.

He’s reprezentin’ the East Coast. And I’m kickin’ it old school on the Westside.

He bangs with the red. And me wit da blue.

He’s down with the dead and phat Notorious B.I.G.

While I vacuum the house with the late Tupac swearing and blaring through my earbuds.

Yet somehow we managed to set aside all those differences and combine forces so together we can stop the food fascists before we’re all eating out of hay bags.

Frank and Eddie versus the Whole Foods Market Lobster Ban.

You got my back?

Your back is got.

Word.

Comments

[Juliet]

This post has been removed by the author.

[Juliet]

Ack! That last comment was full of typos. (I was tired, okay?) It was not fit to be seen.

Anyhoo, it's good to see you coming together for the greater good. :-p The lobsters are gonna die anyway. We're the one's who will be eating (and paying for)them. Might as well have them good and freshly dead.

[Eddie Lin]

Juliet,

Thanks for the comment. You know, I rarely even eat lobster or shrimp. But I still would like them to be available as food options. And the fresher the better.

[KT]

Good for you! I mean, really, who are we to say? Perhaps the human mind cannot possibly comprehend the important contributions to the universe the lobsters make, given the extra time to live on in their tanks, before becoming my delicious dinner?

[BoLA]

Yo Eddie, we all got your back. You know, fo' sho. Word. ;)

[Eddie Lin]

kt,

good point. maybe the lobster you're about to eat was going to be the next shakespeare. but, joking aside, the point is the humane treatment of the lobster. i'd like to find out what an animal rights activist acknowledges as humane treatment. i suspect the requirements would be deliberately unfeasible so as to prevent lobsters from being traded period.

the bottom line is the animal rights extremist do not really want humane treatment of any creature that is sold for consumption because they don't want the creatures sold for consumption at all.


BoLA,

Thanks! But today was a good day, I didn't have to use my AK.

[sarah]

2 of Amerikaz most wanted, eddie and frank...

ain't nuthin' but a gangsta party

[Anonymous]

Whole Foods is just caving in to their high falutin' customers who believe that tofurkey is the height of cuisine. I'm not really concerned because as long as there are Asian markets, there will always be live food to be found.

With regard to dugs and goose being treated badly, I've been to a fois gras "farm" and those fat, waddling bastards are happy! The way they are fed looks horrific, but they don't appear to be traumatized. In fact, during feeding time, they wait quietly for their turn and waddle calmly away. There's no thrashing, no screaming. I don't see what the problem is.

[Anonymous]

sorry, I guess I can't spell today. That should read "ducks and geese". duh!

[Mulk]

truly eddie this is a dark hour for all free range lobster lovers

[Eddie Lin]

sarah,

you a ho's who knows! and i mean that in the nicest way possible.


anon,

thanks for the insight. very interesting about the foie gras farm.


incredible mulk,

live free or die!

[Gourmetish]

We must hang out when I'm back in LA. Food and Tupac? You're great! Can you believe I used to know all the lyrics to Hit 'Em Up?